Wednesday 4 March 2015

Two Sides? No Sides!

We're in the final big mudslide before a general election.  Political fuckers from all sides are getting their licks in, trying to persuade us poor unejicated plebs what's best for us, in a particular tone taken by Westminster political spods.  You know, the ones who are all tied to City of London vampires.  The ones who don't want working people to get a fair shake because of some vague ideological standpoint that pay equality is bad.

Don't ask why, it just is.  Shut up and keep watching Eastenders, Coronation Street and whatever the current reality TV is.  BBC News will keep you informed of what we want to tell you and how you should think about it.  We've also got The Sun and The Daily Mail for you to read.  Oh, and by the way, inserting rusty pins into your genitals is a fucking fantastic idea.

But I digress.  That's a conversation for another time.  Or have I said all I need to on the subject already?  DRAMATIC MUSIC!

That was an interesting digression.  Right out the gate, whoosh, go off ninety degrees to where I wanted.  Back on point, fucko.

Since the Scottish independence referendum there's been heightened political engagement in Scotland.  We saw droves of people rush to join the SNP and the Greens.  In the wake of a number of promises broken and others Satanically twisted in their fulfilment, we watched as Labour turned into a pariah party in Scotland.  They and the Tories worked hard to stop people from voting for independence, and they succeeded, in an entirely, hilariously, pyrrhic way.  Instead of a small portion of the Scottish population eyeing the Westminster lunch club suspiciously, now a big chunk of the country looking really closely at that prawn cocktail and wondering how many jobs were lost in order for the tubby MP to have it.  Not that Westminster give a fuck, their most important voting demographic is also their biggest, funnily enough, and resides around the south east of England – right on their doorstep.  Still, it's something of a worrying niggle to them I imagine, like those head aches and the voices.  Oh, the voices.

No, Mister Stumpleflush, I can't possibly do that with a corkscrew...

So with all that as a wonderful background, with Scotland's populace suddenly more engaged and in a perfect position to turn the screws on Westminster.  What do we start doing the moment we've got this level of engagement?  What's the bestest idea you can think of with this all going on?  Anybody?  Nobody can guess?

We split into tribes.  Yay!  Something positive is taking place, let's suck all the fucking good from it and turn it into a Who Can Call Each Other Cunts Most contest.  Yep.  We'll erect tents at either side of a fucking ravine and scowl at each other.  Get a nice big animosity inflation unit going to blow huge floats that hurl insults at the people on the other side.  And possibly sprays cat piss at them while they're at it.

It's like a fight over territory between two factions of chimps, except without all the screaming, shit-flinging an– oh, fuck it I can't even finish that sentence.  That level of lie would implode the entire fucking planet.

It's just really nasty.  It's like there's something burrowed in human psyche that means we can't just be a majority on something.  We have to schism down the middle and throw bodily fluids at each other.  Nice foetid ones at that.  The ones we've collected in jars over the years and let get good and decomposed.

There's nothing wrong with being at different side of a political discussion.  That whole thing of robust political discourse being an important corner stone of democracy is a valid argument, but the problem is, in our fractious internet age, people retreat to be with people of the same political standpoints as them.  It's natural.  We don't want to spend every day being told we're wrong and it's good to be around smarter people who can give us ideas to defend our standpoints when we do encounter people who tell us we're wrong.  The sticking point comes when we don't leave these groups and they become an echo chamber.  Those conditions are arsehole ideology breeding grounds.

It also means when people of different political opinions come together from these places, dripping with the absolute smelly determination they're right, it turns into sloppy shit fight.  You know what's horrible in a political discussion?  I'll assume you actually want to know and haven't just wandered off with your fingers in your ears going, "I don't do this.  I don't do this," like a cunt.  It's when anyone, on any side, rolls their eyes and goes, "That's just typical of what your side says," as if to dismiss them.  I do it when I'm reading shit the Tories are up to, and I'll probably do it a dozen times today, the difference being is that I'm not in discussion with someone with a differing opinion.  Yet this is an accepted part of political discussion, even including the inevitable snorting.

It's not even isolated to internet or private conversations, it's used in the highest political discussions in the land.  This is a response you'll see in assemblies and parliaments right across the land.  Like it's some kind of all-powerful weapon against ideologies that will cut an opponent off at the knees without a response.  They're right about one thing, it is hard to respond to, outside of 'you're a cunt'.  Of course it's typical of what one political view would say if it aligns with their political view.  Fucking morons.

It ties in with the whole thing of a misunderstanding of what robust debate actually means.  Watching footage from the House of Commons is like watching a bunch of unsupervised and undisciplined school kids scream at each other from across the play ground.  It's a football away from a couple of MPs rolling around on the floor punching and biting each other.  It's rowdy, it's horrible, it doesn't get much done and that seems to be the way our political wanks want it.  If that's how top level political discussion goes, what does that leave for the rest of us?

That's right.  Festering penis scrapings.

For fuck's sake, we need to be a bit more mature about how we discuss these things.  Yes, you disagree with what that SNP person or Tory person is saying, but outright calling them a cunt isn't going to get you anywhere, even if it is justified.  Passion is good.  Passion gets shit done.  Foaming mouthed, eye-rolling raving makes people reach for the fucking cattle prod.

Pack it in you fucking idiots.


Will